I'll take chocolate in lieu of cash.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
In an attempt to see the world in a positive light I've decided to come up with upsides about my bike computer.
My wireless bike computer has all the functions of the regular version. YES! 80% of the time it will display speed, distance, cadence, average speed, etc. What this special edition has that others lack, however, is that 20% of the time it displays nothing. Yes, nothing. And for no dsicernable reason.
Now, you may be asking yourself - why this is a good thing? How would this benefit my training? Well, let me tell you.
The Special Edition 80% Bike Computer offers the following fantastic benefits:
- Vigilence - We all know how important it is to be alert while riding. The fact that the SE 80% bike computer stops working on a completely random basis means you need to exercise constant vigilence if you want reasonably accurate data.
- Excitement - Add the element of surprise and excitement to your rides! Will it be working next time you look? Will you have an accurate record of your ride? With the SE 80% you never know!
- Heart rate management - Have trouble keeping your HR up? With the SE 80% you'll be in a state of constant frustration, helping to keep that ticker going at just the right speed.
- Freedom from boredom - Long rides can get tedious and you can run out of things to think and/or talk about. With the SE 80%, when you are 3 (or is it 4?) hours into your 6 hour ride you can occupy your mind by contemplating creative ways to destroy this useless piece of $#!&!
- Maintain your bike - Keeping your machine in good working order is important. SE 80% components frequently fall off or readjust while in transit, encouraging you to thoroughly check your bike before, after, and often during, every ride.
- Stimulate the economy - In these tough times, every dollar you spend is helping your fellow man/woman. The SE 80% helps you stimulate the economy - because it's wireless there are 3 batteries to replace, not 1 like in some econo-unfriendly types, allowing you to contribute THREE TIMES MORE to the economy. Plus, the fact that parts sometimes drop off means you get to invest more money by replacing them. SE 80% - the philanthropist's choice!
- Time-saving for crazy people - Are you an anthropomorphizer? Do you like co-dependent relationships? Are you tired of wasting time cultivating these psychoses separately? With the SE 80% you can enjoy the best of both worlds at the same time! Give the SE 80% a name and personality and when it stops working assume he/she hates you and wonder what you ever did to deserve it. Then when he/she starts working again, just as you are about to dump him/her and switch to a Cat Eye, realize that he/she really does love you and you were meant for each other.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
I met with the crew this morning at Bean around the world with the intent of going up Cypress, or as far as my lungs would let me go. I made it almost to the top of 15th Street in West Van then decided a flatter ride would be smarter.
Riding alone left me lots of time to think. Luckily I'm generally entertained by what goes on in my own head so I wasn't bored. I have my Walter Mitty moments - envisioning how I save the universe through judicious application of my towering intellect, spectacular super-powers and awe-inspiring mastery of kung fu - but generally I just let my mind wander.
Some random thoughts that occurred to me on my ride, brick run and farmers' market shopping (a brick shop?):
- What's the point of meeting at a coffee shop if you're there before it opens? And what self-respecting coffee shop opens after 7?
- Stressing about things you can't change is a waste of time. Better to figure out how to deal with them and move on.
- Thinking that those people/that person wouldn't be passing you if your lungs weren't acting up is also a waste of time. And really, who cares?
- I've lost that cynical feeling I had at the begining of the week. The glass is half full again.
- Could we have some sort of rule where the folks who train in crappy weather get right of way on sunny days when all the fairweather folk deem it nice enough outside for them to block the roads??
- I need to but a new bike computer (ride time = 3:?? hours, current speed = ???)
- I'm happy to run 5 minutes at pace but I have no idea what my pace currently is.
- I am thrilled at the success of the Trout Lake farmers' market. I just wish there were less people there! (Can we apply the weather rule again?)
- Shopping while hungry is a bad idea (lots of sweet stuff came home with me).
- At farmers' markets I try to suss out who the regulars are, stand behind them in line, then figure out what I'm in line for. The people behind me in the bakery line got all stressed that the "Market Bread" was going quickly so I bought some. I didn't buy it to be a jerk (there was lots left, btw) but because I had to see if it was worth lining up for. It was indeed, I'll be back!
- I will have to remember to use the simile "Stinkier than a garbage can at a dog park on a hot day." I guess it's good to know the Trout Lake dog beach users clean up after their canines.
- Eating a huge lunch, reading my book and drinking coffee #2 (#1 is pre-ride) is an awesome way to spend the afternoon.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
- Anger – “My time was what?!” “I didn’t get a PR?!” Often accompanied by hat throwing, stomping, glaring, a protruding bottom lip, and a refusal to talk about the race.
- Recriminations – “I should have eaten/trained/slept/cleaned my ears more/less/not at all/three times on Tuesdays.”
- Long-winded emails to the coach – “… and then 37.25 km into the bike my cadence dropped from 95 to 93.2 but my HR stayed the same and I ate a banana-salmon-crunch gel. I think this is where it started to fall apart. Should we refocus my training plan so that blah, blah, blah…” (Sorry Alan)
- Depression – “I don’t want to train. I’m going to stay home, watch So You Think You Can Dance and eat microwave popcorn.”
- Desperate attempts to find the positive – “Not qualifying for Kona means I don’t have to spend all that money on a trip to Hawaii. In these tough economic times that’s a good thing!”
- Acceptance – “Ah well, bad races happen.”
- Moving on – “Coach, do you think we could incorporate tango lessons into my weekly program? I want to try out for SYTYCD!”
I will eventually post an Oliver race report, but right now I'm busy trying to learn to rumba.