Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The seven steps of grieving (over a bad race)

  1. Anger – “My time was what?!” “I didn’t get a PR?!” Often accompanied by hat throwing, stomping, glaring, a protruding bottom lip, and a refusal to talk about the race.
  2. Recriminations – “I should have eaten/trained/slept/cleaned my ears more/less/not at all/three times on Tuesdays.”
  3. Long-winded emails to the coach – “… and then 37.25 km into the bike my cadence dropped from 95 to 93.2 but my HR stayed the same and I ate a banana-salmon-crunch gel. I think this is where it started to fall apart. Should we refocus my training plan so that blah, blah, blah…” (Sorry Alan)
  4. Depression – “I don’t want to train. I’m going to stay home, watch So You Think You Can Dance and eat microwave popcorn.”
  5. Desperate attempts to find the positive – “Not qualifying for Kona means I don’t have to spend all that money on a trip to Hawaii. In these tough economic times that’s a good thing!”
  6. Acceptance – “Ah well, bad races happen.”
  7. Moving on – “Coach, do you think we could incorporate tango lessons into my weekly program? I want to try out for SYTYCD!”

I will eventually post an Oliver race report, but right now I'm busy trying to learn to rumba.


Amy said...

Start with the salsa... or swing. easy peasy and there are clubs to do that in... you know since we stay up late enough for THAT.

Oh and the trick with ear cleaning is three times on Tuesdays when there is a full moon. Otherwise once on Tuesdays while standing on one leg should do it.

Alison said...

Left leg or right leg?? C'mon, these details can affect my entire race career!

Captain Cactus said...

Stand on your right leg for the left ear and your left leg for the right ear. I think that's the trick!